Responsibility means respond to yourself first
Responsibility means respond to yourself first

I am walking on the escalator
against the current
going the wrong way
not going anywhere
drawing uncomfortable stares

An autistic woman on the subway
has a body the size of a ten year old
recites the digital weather
and shakes her head
she's stimming
drawing uncomfortable stares

My friend
says try to enjoy your parents while you have them
tell that to my body
and its missile defense shield

positive is a star you use to navigate
when working in the dark
with blind repercussions

I had a friend who told me
when he gazed at the stars once on a grassy reservoir
A light came toward him
he understood it deep inside himself
It was playful

there are many channels of communication

you know what I mean

The light that turns on when a person embodies herself
suddenly unfolds a rare and dissonant beauty
or a child who growls like a caged animal
because he is too ashamed to speak
then a little boy who loved to talk about vacuum cleaners
he has aspergers syndrome
a mild form of autism

autistic people
perceive the world
each with their own special
kaleidoscope
wallpaper becomes a world of patterns to
merge with
rhythms a form of comfort
spinning on details
because attaching meaning to
peoples words and actions is not possible
much easier to bounce peoples needs back at them
eccolalic
a common
automatic autistic response
without processing the information first
or its a means of sorting
I am hungry
you are hungry
...hungry
I love you
I love you too
......love

It is much easier to respond
and fulfill others at all costs
so their emotions don't come
crashing in like tidal waves

But I'll tell you something
revolutionary
I have dropped the iron curtain
and for moments
have experienced for myself alone
a feeling of unbridled love
that was a river of blood unstoppable
excruciating

Or more recently
i was quiet enough to
receive
quiet enough to pause
and respond directly

Words can't touch this
synesthesia
sounds colour motion
reverberation then static then tone then harmony then screams
a gull on the ocean

a car skids into another
impact, attachments
solitary blossoms
weeds embroider veins and choke the blood
HIV positive
becomes a dying painters voice splashed on the canvas

possession
in possession of - ones self
possessed by
brought to you by
stairs going up
people in subway grottos
schools of fish
and stairs going down
the underground railroad

people up close
giants communicating through
non verbal channels

drawing uncomfortable stairs

tickling strangers with feathers

responsibility means respond to yourself first
responsibility means respond to yourself first