Souffle

I feel strange
like i said bad things
like i said
bad things
I drank wine and it made me insane
like i said bad things
i spoke loud and boasted
i reached out and was rejected
i see poorly
i can't tell
when i am right
when i am wrong
feeling
like falling
withdrawal
drawal
narrowing the insides
from the self
cringeing from wanting
who was it what was it
like a souffle
falling
rolling over on one side
reaching for a flashlight
did i put batteries
did i change the batteries
i reach for the flash light
what is this hope
that illusion is illusion
that all is not lost
that nothing is lost
hiding from the news
i thought i could bring back the dead
i thought i was to blame
i thought if i stopped at least it wouldn't get worse
time overlaps
holding water
eyes leak
piss leaks
lungs ooze
souls speak
souls scream
buried alive
it can't be that bad this wanting
this lightbulb
these bugs
this attraction
this time buzzing
some child
some adult
some elder
eyes shine
breathing and breathing
this exchange
sometimes touching
expect nothing
cardboard buddhas
unstuffing myself
skin is loose
bones still strong
help
i feel so wrong
this growing
this dying all around
so abundant
this rot
these rioting unpaid flowers
in a sea of green
this flow between us
so blessed
i am beyond grateful
for that moment with
all of you
that was hope
that was connection
that felt like being alive
for the first time since the last
time i remembered something